Today is my 18th wedding anniversary! We have been through our share of challenges just like the next couple but I feel we have grown stronger as a result. I can say today that I love my Hubby more than I did on our wedding day. Each year it gets better.
When you live, learn and grow with one person, it takes commitment to make it work. One key area that helps is communication. I think this is the most important area but it’s also the one area that is easy to mess up. How many times has a gesture or action been misinterpreted by your significant other? Maybe its time you learn your partners love language.
I highly recommend Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages”. The main idea of the book is that people love and show love based on their unique “love language”. That language may or may not align with your partner’s. Using common sense techniques and examples of the five love languages (Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts and Quality Time), this book is a guide to better communication. We took the assessment quiz and learned we have different love languages. This knowledge helps make a positive difference in the way you “see” your partner and what they need to feel loved.
I’m off to enjoy the day with my Hubby. By the way, his language is “Quality Time” and I am “Physical Touch”. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
What is your love language?
Now that the spectacle of Valentine’s Day is over, we can get back to our regular love lives. Full disclosure: I’m not a big fan of February 14th. Maybe it’s all the flowers and candy hearts. Maybe it’s the over abundance of cupids and cards. Maybe its the forced display of gifts signifying someone cared enough to send the very best. I think it’s all of the above but mostly it is the commercialization of it all.
When I was younger, V-day held a lot of weight. I would measure the value of my relationship by the amount of gifts I received. With age comes wisdom and now I know that one day does not define a relationship.
My husband always delivers on Valentine’s Day and we celebrate along with the masses. But I’ll take the everyday displays of love over cards and flowers every time. The small acts of love like relinquishing the “big” television so that I can watch Grey’s Anatomy and Braxton Family Values. The routine task of taking my car for service or planning our annual family vacation. Giving me a call during the work day. Buying me a laptop when I said I wanted to be a writer. (Still working on that one, honey.) Being there through whatever life throws our way. My husband’s love is on full display when he goes to a job that he hates but provides for our family. He shows love in a thousand ways that don’t involve balloons or a piece of candy.
Valentine’s Day can be fun. But I’ll take the every day gifts of love every time. How do you measure love?
The husband announced he was going on his monthly golf trip with the guys. I was so excited that I could have literally jumped for joy. I had to play it cool. “That’s good,” I replied. “You deserve a getaway.” I was being sincere. He works hard and should have free time to do something he enjoys. But I was also considering my own moment. I would have the bed to myself!
If you have lived with someone long enough you learn cohabitation requires compromise. Somethings you may like to do but if it infringes on your significant other, you reach a happy medium. An example: I would love to sleep in the middle of the bed and watch DVDs or read until I get sleepy. The husband insists on sharing the sleep space so I stay on my side of the bed and leave the DVDs and books to daylight hours. With his overnight trip pending, I had a list of things I could enjoy having the room all to myself.
And enjoy it I did. I took my shower early and lounged around in pajamas. I fed the kids and left them with the big television in the great room and retreated to my space. I had two DVDs where nothing blows up and there aren’t any car chases, a book on standby and popped popcorn. I climbed in the center of the bed surrounded by pillows and remotes. Heaven.
Yes, I appreciated my alone time. Love had nothing to do with it. I believe all couples should have little breaks away from each other. Not only is it good to just be yourself for a moment but it makes you appreciate your relationship. I was happy to see my husband when he returned. He is my best friend and I enjoy his company. Until the next time he is away.
What say you? What things do you like to do when the spouse/significant other is away?