I open my eyes to another new day
And remember all over again
That you are not here
My heart longs for you.
I go through the motions
Of living a life
Kids, work and bills
My mind stays on you.
I lay awake at night
Remembering your smile, your scent
My hands want to hold you.
I am every woman
Strong enough on my own
But with you I feel invincible
My soul needs you.
(c) 2012 Michelle Rayford
Today is my 18th wedding anniversary! We have been through our share of challenges just like the next couple but I feel we have grown stronger as a result. I can say today that I love my Hubby more than I did on our wedding day. Each year it gets better.
When you live, learn and grow with one person, it takes commitment to make it work. One key area that helps is communication. I think this is the most important area but it’s also the one area that is easy to mess up. How many times has a gesture or action been misinterpreted by your significant other? Maybe its time you learn your partners love language.
I highly recommend Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages”. The main idea of the book is that people love and show love based on their unique “love language”. That language may or may not align with your partner’s. Using common sense techniques and examples of the five love languages (Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts and Quality Time), this book is a guide to better communication. We took the assessment quiz and learned we have different love languages. This knowledge helps make a positive difference in the way you “see” your partner and what they need to feel loved.
I’m off to enjoy the day with my Hubby. By the way, his language is “Quality Time” and I am “Physical Touch”. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
What is your love language?
Now that the spectacle of Valentine’s Day is over, we can get back to our regular love lives. Full disclosure: I’m not a big fan of February 14th. Maybe it’s all the flowers and candy hearts. Maybe it’s the over abundance of cupids and cards. Maybe its the forced display of gifts signifying someone cared enough to send the very best. I think it’s all of the above but mostly it is the commercialization of it all.
When I was younger, V-day held a lot of weight. I would measure the value of my relationship by the amount of gifts I received. With age comes wisdom and now I know that one day does not define a relationship.
My husband always delivers on Valentine’s Day and we celebrate along with the masses. But I’ll take the everyday displays of love over cards and flowers every time. The small acts of love like relinquishing the “big” television so that I can watch Grey’s Anatomy and Braxton Family Values. The routine task of taking my car for service or planning our annual family vacation. Giving me a call during the work day. Buying me a laptop when I said I wanted to be a writer. (Still working on that one, honey.) Being there through whatever life throws our way. My husband’s love is on full display when he goes to a job that he hates but provides for our family. He shows love in a thousand ways that don’t involve balloons or a piece of candy.
Valentine’s Day can be fun. But I’ll take the every day gifts of love every time. How do you measure love?