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Does Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder?

I don’t say it enough when you are around

 But I feel it acutely when you are gone

I take it for granted when we are together

 But I long for it when you leave

I can smile without you being here

But I feel more alive in your arms

Long distance relationships suck.

For Him

I open my eyes to another new day

And remember all over again

That you are not here

My heart longs for you.


I go through the motions

Of living a life

Kids, work and bills

My mind stays on you.


I lay awake at night

Remembering your smile, your scent

Your presence

My hands want to hold you.


I am every woman

Strong enough on my own

But with you I feel invincible

My soul needs you.

(c) 2012 Michelle Rayford

It’s My Anniversary!

Today is my 18th wedding anniversary!  We have been through our share of challenges just like the next couple but I feel we have grown stronger as a result.  I can say today that I love my Hubby more than I did on our wedding day.  Each year it gets better.

When you live, learn and grow with one person, it takes commitment to make it work.  One key area that helps is communication.  I think this is the most important area but it’s also the one area that is easy to mess up.  How many times has a gesture or action been misinterpreted by your significant other?  Maybe its time you learn your partners love language.

I highly recommend Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages”.  The main idea of the book is that people love and show love based on their unique “love language”.  That language may or may not align with your partner’s.  Using common sense techniques and examples of the five love languages (Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts and Quality Time), this book is a guide to better communication.  We took the assessment quiz and learned we have different love languages.  This knowledge helps make a positive difference in the way you “see”  your partner and what they need to feel loved.

I’m off to enjoy the day with my Hubby.  By the way, his language is “Quality Time” and I am “Physical Touch”.  Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

What is your love language?  


How Do You Measure Love?


Now that the spectacle of Valentine’s Day is over, we can get back to our regular love lives.  Full disclosure:  I’m not a big fan of February 14th.  Maybe it’s all the flowers and candy hearts.  Maybe it’s the over abundance of cupids and cards.  Maybe its the forced display of gifts signifying someone cared enough to send the very best.  I think it’s all of the above but mostly it is the commercialization of it all.

When I was  younger, V-day held a lot of weight.  I would measure the value of my  relationship by the amount of gifts I received.  With age comes wisdom and now I know that one day does not define a relationship.

My husband always delivers on Valentine’s Day and we celebrate along with the masses.  But I’ll take the everyday displays of love over cards and flowers every time.  The small acts of love like relinquishing the “big” television so that I can watch Grey’s Anatomy and Braxton Family Values.   The routine task of taking my car for service or planning our annual family vacation.  Giving me a call during the work day.  Buying me a laptop when I said I wanted to be a writer.    (Still working on that one, honey.) Being there through whatever life throws our way.  My husband’s love is on full display when he goes to a job that he hates but provides for our family.  He shows love in a thousand ways that don’t involve balloons or a piece of candy.

Valentine’s Day can be fun.  But I’ll take the every day gifts of love every time.  How do you measure love?

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