This is 28 Years

My current view

This year for our 28th Wedding Anniversary, we did something different. We went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee, and stayed at the Westgate Smokey Mountain Resort.

And while the views are beautiful, we both learned that we prefer the roar of ocean waters instead of navigating mountain roads.

Here are eight things I learned after being married for twenty-eight years (cause no one has time for a list of twenty-eight things):

  1. It’s possible to love someone in several ways
  2. You will discover new things you didn’t know about your spouse
  3. Laughing with your spouse is the best medicine
  4. Be willing to compromise
  5. It’s okay to go to bed angry. Sometimes you need a moment to cool off
  6. Your spouse should be your biggest cheerleader, but they don’t have to cheer for everything you do
  7. Working toward a common goal makes the journey easier
  8. Falling in love may happen by chance, but staying in love is a choice

Let’s hear from you. What are some things you’ve learned about marriage?

So Snow, Happened!

Already starting to melt.

Here in the South, we don’t get much snow. In fact, it rarely snows here in winter. That’s why Friday night it was exciting to witness flakes fall from the sky.

Sure, it was gone by mid-day on Saturday but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

It was a perfect day to nestle in on the couch with a blanket and a good book. What’s your favorite activity to do on a snow day?

Winter wonderland in the backyard

One Lakers Fan Heartbreak – A Tribute to Kobe Bryant

Print created by Matt Sanoian.
Print created by Matt Sanoian.

I was upstairs writing when the call came. My daughter’s Face timed me with the news. Kobe Bryant was dead. I told them to stop playing.

I’ve been a Lakers fan since Dad sat me down beside him on the couch to watch the Showtime Lakers. Magic, Kareem, James Worthy, AC Green, Bryon Scott. I fell in love with their style. I’ve always loved basketball (my jumper was nice) and the LA Lakers became MY team.

Even through the down years, I rooted for them. Then we traded for Shaq. And drafted a young kid named Kobe Bean Bryant. The Lakers were back, baby.

And I got to watch a young boy grow into a man. His work ethic was nuts. You had to admire the tenacity. The arrogance to believe he would emerge as THE best basketball player. And he did it. He won at the highest level. It was inspiring. It made you want to work hard on your own chosen craft. Kobe made it possible to believe that a strong will and consistency would reap rewards. I didn’t want to be like Mike. I wanted to be like Kobe. #MambaMentality

He wasn’t perfect. There are some that may condemn him forever but I saw the growth, the maturity. And I’m no one’s judge and jury. I didn’t know him personally, of course, but from what I could see he was a wonderful father. He seemed to be happily married. He loved to teach the next generation of ballplayers. Especially girls. #GirlDad

I was looking forward to his new path. A more creative path. He wrote a series of children’s books. He won an Oscar for Best Animated Short for his poem, Dear Basketball. In winning that award, he showed he was more than an athlete. It’s depressing to think of all the work he was still planning to do and know it’s not going to happen. Kobe was only 41 years old. The world was robbed of his gifts.

So, to Kobe, his daughter Gianna, Sarah & Payton Chester, Alyssa, Keri & John Altobelli, Christina Mauser and Ara Zobayan, rest in peace.  You will be missed but remembered forever!

This print was created by Matt Sanoian of Sanoian Designs. If you would like to purchase it, please go to www.sanoiandesigns.com/buy

All proceeds will be donated to the MambaOnThree.org

The Obligatory What I’m Thankful For Post – 2019

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

There are certain things that can be expected this time of year.  Football,  turkey dinners, family get-togethers, Black Friday sales followed by Cyber Monday sales. And a bombardment of “thankful” lists.  

These lists are from various people bragging about how great their lives are and we should all applaud them for recognizing it.  I have resisted the urge to add to this phenomenon but I couldn’t think of anything else to blog about so here goes.

Things I am “thankful” for (in no particular order):

  • My family (Okay, if you don’t put that first people will talk about you.)
  • To be gainfully employed (I need money to pay bills, buy scratch-off lotto tickets so I can stop working, buy food and books.  Lots of books. So many books.)
  • Google (What did we do before it was so easy to look up random facts like “How much money does an NFL practice squad player make?”  Seriously, as a writer I love Google.  It saves time on research.  I mean, what did people do before when they wanted to know something?  Actually talk to people?  The horror.)
  • Friends that get me and love me unconditionally. (Thank you for the material.  Oh, you didn’t realize that I’ve based a character in my book from your adventures?  Pay no attention to this list.)
  • Therapy. I found an excellent therapist this year. What? You think I don’t have to work on being this normal.
  • That my Lakers are finally a good team again. I was still rooting for them but it was hard to watch.
  • Music – I love music. The ’80s and ’90s were the golden eras. Fight me!
  • How to Get Away With Murder.  I can’t wait for the final six episodes! Although making us wait until April is cruel. And unnecessary.
  • And the big one, health.  (You can’t put a price on good health.)

These things can go on and on but I’ll stop there.

This Thanksgiving season, what are you thankful for?

Celebrate

One of my favorite childhood memories is gathering with the other neighborhood kids and watching the fireworks show one of the Dad’s would put on every year. Lighting sparklers was a major deal for a six year old me.

What are some of your 4th of July childhood memories?

#4thofJuly #summertime #childhoodmemories #mdrayfordwrites

The Louvre – Rayford Style

See Apeshit – The Carters

I have a new appreciation for this video.

Of course, we didn’t rent out the place but we were there.

Not so original idea, but they should offer the Beyonce/Jay-Z tour. Let you recreate the dance moves on the stairs and stuff. 😉

#25thAnniversary #AmericansinParis #mdrayfordwrites

Turning 50: A Reflection on 10 Things I Know For Sure

Now that I’ve turned 50 years old, there are certain things I know for sure. The list stops at ten things because nobody has time to read a list of 50 things.

  • You’re never too old to follow your dreams.
  • Body parts can predict the weather.
  • Go to therapy. Mental health is as important as physical health.
  • Don’t start none, won’t be none.
  • Take pictures. You can never have enough pictures of your loved ones.
  • Buy in bulk. Warehouse stores are a blessing.
  • Do the thing that scares you. Step out of your comfort zone.
  • Travel outside of your city, state or country. The world is full of treasures and you need to experience a world view that is different than yours.
  • I can no longer “squat” in public restrooms. I’m officially a “double liner”. My knees thank me.
  • The series finale of Games of Thrones was trash!

So, tell me dear reader. What are some things you know for sure?

Guess What Day It Is?

25 years ago today, I married my best friend. He still makes me smile and has taken me on adventures around the world. Through the highs and lows of life, I’m glad I have him to share it with.

Things I Learned from My First Book Signing

I had my first book signing, ya’ll! Now, I’ve been to more than a few signings for my favorite authors but it’s different when you’re on the other side of the table.

I didn’t know what to expect.  Would anyone show up?

I was nervous. What do I say if they show up?

I was excited. Oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening!!

And it turned out great. It was a big crowd and I sold more books than I thought I would. Here’s what I learned from the experience:

  1. Invest in a tablecloth. At the last minute I thought about the table covering and bought one from Dollar General. It got the job done but next time I want a more professional look.
  2. Pre-sign books.  It will save time.
  3. Take more pictures. I tried to do this myself and missed some good shots because I was talking with people. I might have to recruit a family member as my photographer.
  4. Pass out cards and bookmarks to everyone that walks by. They may not be a book reader but I bet they know one.
  5. Do a better job getting the notice out. Don’t rely solely on social media.
  6. Invest in bags. It’s another good way to advertise.
  7. Have fun!

The last one is the most important. I definitely had fun and meet some wonderful people.