Facebook Friends with your Teenage Kids

Facebook currently has approximately 800 million users.  Two of those users are my kids.

When this whole social media thing started, I was like most parents.  Clueless.  That changed when I found out through another parent that Princess had a Facebook page.   (For the record, you never want to hear something about your kid from another parent.)  That lead to the “Social Media Rules”.  Princess had to agree to comply or have her rights revoked.  When Diva became of age, the same rules applied.  Here they are:

  1. Never give out personal information (ie. address and phone number)
  2. Do not engage in FB fights or Twitter wars.  Bully is not allowed.
  3. I must be their friend.

I felt I was really on to something by insisting on being “friends” with my kids.  This would allow me to police their posts and see the type of people they were friending.  I make it a point to not announce my presence on their pages.  I want them to be free to express themselves but know in the back of their minds that Mom is watching.

Things have been working well so far.  I’m not naive enough to believe that I can monitor everything my children do online.  There are ways around the public post with instant messaging and direct messaging.  And I can’t help but wonder……What happens when (not if) I am the subject of a post or twit?

For example, what if in a fit of teenage anger about the unfairness of having to listen to her parents, one of my kids post, “My mom gets on my nerves.  I can’t wait to get out of here in two years.”

How should I respond?  Should I pretend I didn’t see the offensive post/twit?  Should we have a conversation off-line about respecting family boundaries and not airing petty disputes to the public?  Should I take away the cell phone/iPod and demand an apology and a retraction?

What are the rules here?  The Facebook policy didn’t think about the parent/child dynamic, did they?

I would probably have a conversation off-line.  I understand that teenage angst is a legitimate feeling.  I’ll allow that.  Just don’t put me on blast.

What do you think?  Any suggestions about how to handle Facebook/Twitter or other social media with teenagers?