When the Spouse is Away…

Pretend this is me. Don't I look happy to have the whole bed!

The husband announced he was going on his monthly golf trip with the guys.  I was so excited that I could have literally jumped for joy.  I had to play it cool.  “That’s good,” I replied.  “You deserve a getaway.”  I was being sincere.  He works hard and should have free time to do something he enjoys.  But I was also considering my own moment.  I would have the bed to myself!

If you have lived with someone long enough you learn cohabitation requires compromise.  Somethings you may like to do but if it infringes on your significant other, you reach a happy medium.  An example:  I would love to sleep in the middle of the bed and watch DVDs or read until I get sleepy.  The husband insists on sharing the sleep space so I stay on my side of the bed and leave the DVDs and books to daylight hours.  With his overnight trip pending, I had a list of things I could enjoy having the room all to myself.

And enjoy it I did.  I took my shower early and lounged around in pajamas.  I fed the kids and left them with the big television in the great room and retreated to my space.  I had two DVDs where nothing blows up and there aren’t any car chases, a book on standby and popped popcorn.  I climbed in the center of the bed surrounded by pillows and remotes.  Heaven.

Yes, I appreciated my alone time.  Love had nothing to do with it.  I believe all couples should have little breaks away from each other.  Not only is it good to just be yourself for a moment but it makes you appreciate your relationship.  I was happy to see my husband when he returned.  He is my best friend and I enjoy his company.  Until the next time he is away.

What say you?  What things do you like to do when the spouse/significant other is away?

Are Some Things Unforgivable?

 

In last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy (Hope for the Hopeless), Christina and Owen had a major argument.  For those people who do not watch the show, here is some background.  Owen and Christina were married last season.  Both are surgeons.  Owen is the new Chief and Christina is a resident specializing in cardio.  Christina’s character is ambitious, determined and focused on becoming the BEST cardiac surgeon.  She does not want children.  Everyone who knows her knows that she doesn’t want children.  Owen is an excellent trauma surgeon but wants it all.  That includes a family.

A major point contention for the couple came when Christina discovered she was pregnant.  She didn’t want it.  Owen did.  Eventually, Owen agreed with Christina’s decision to terminate the pregnancy.  He even accompanied her to have the procedure done.

Fast forward to this episode.  Owen and Christina were arguing over Christina’s refusal to follow this direction at work.   But like most arguments between couples, the conversation was really about something else.  Then Owen dropped the abortion bomb.  “You killed our baby!” he screamed.  Every one of their colleagues heard this.

No matter if you are pro-choice or pro-life, my question is this:  Once a decision has been made as a couple (even if one party isn’t entirely happy about it) can you ever throw it up in an argument?  I think Owen was out-of-order and their marriage will probably end as a result.

What say you?  Anyone care to share?

It’s Your Homework, Why Do I Feel Like I Am in School?

When is summer vacation?

School is in full swing and this means kids are coming home with work.  Hence, the name “homework”.  This is not good.  I am a firm believer that just like Vegas, school should stay at school.

I’ve read the studies that suggest too much homework makes kids hate learning.  Other studies conclude homework does not measurably improve academic achievement.  (That one came from Duke University, Harris Cooper.)  These are all valid reasons to support my position.  However, my reason is quite simple.  I hate feeling stupid.

First some background.  I graduated from high school some twenty years time ago.  I’ve even graduated from college.  I’m not trying to impress anyone by writing this.  I’m trying to reassure myself that I’m not an idiot.

Some of these homework assignments can make an adult question t heir own intelligence.  Picture this:  Diva is in middle school.  Her Language Arts class gives weekly STEMS test.  In case you are wondering, STEMS can best be described as parts of words. For example, archy = government, cede = go and ard = always.  Whatever happened to good old-fashioned vocabulary words.  We used to get a list of words and a dictionary.  We wrote the list by ourselves.  Now Diva has this weekly assignment and insists I take part in it.  I’m her “study buddy” she says.  Did I ask for this honor?  No.  But what can I do?

I think kids should focus on spelling.  Remember the spelling bee?  Now that’s something that should be brought back to the classroom.  This “text first, talk never” generation could use a refresher.  They abbreviate everything.  I had to instruct my kids to write complete words when they text me.

I’m not even going to get started on the subject of math.  I’ve been unable to help with that since elementary school.  Good thing Princess is good in math or Diva would be in trouble.

To my kid’s school district, I’m begging.   Stop with the homework.  Think of the countless of parents who risk looking stupid in front of their kids.  Let’s leave school work at school.  Save the family.

25 Things Writers Should Start Doing


 

Back on Chuck Wendig’s blog today.  Here is a new link for any writers out there.

http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2012/01/17/25-things-writers-should-start-doing/

 

 

Pew Says Ownership of Tablets and E-Readers Doubled Over the Holidays


I found this article on Publishers Weekly.  The ownership of e-readers bode well for the future.  Since I plan to self publish my novel in progress as an ebook, I can potentially reach a wider audience.

Pew Says Ownership of Tablets and E-Readers Doubled Over the Holidays.

Facebook Friends with your Teenage Kids

Facebook currently has approximately 800 million users.  Two of those users are my kids.

When this whole social media thing started, I was like most parents.  Clueless.  That changed when I found out through another parent that Princess had a Facebook page.   (For the record, you never want to hear something about your kid from another parent.)  That lead to the “Social Media Rules”.  Princess had to agree to comply or have her rights revoked.  When Diva became of age, the same rules applied.  Here they are:

  1. Never give out personal information (ie. address and phone number)
  2. Do not engage in FB fights or Twitter wars.  Bully is not allowed.
  3. I must be their friend.

I felt I was really on to something by insisting on being “friends” with my kids.  This would allow me to police their posts and see the type of people they were friending.  I make it a point to not announce my presence on their pages.  I want them to be free to express themselves but know in the back of their minds that Mom is watching.

Things have been working well so far.  I’m not naive enough to believe that I can monitor everything my children do online.  There are ways around the public post with instant messaging and direct messaging.  And I can’t help but wonder……What happens when (not if) I am the subject of a post or twit?

For example, what if in a fit of teenage anger about the unfairness of having to listen to her parents, one of my kids post, “My mom gets on my nerves.  I can’t wait to get out of here in two years.”

How should I respond?  Should I pretend I didn’t see the offensive post/twit?  Should we have a conversation off-line about respecting family boundaries and not airing petty disputes to the public?  Should I take away the cell phone/iPod and demand an apology and a retraction?

What are the rules here?  The Facebook policy didn’t think about the parent/child dynamic, did they?

I would probably have a conversation off-line.  I understand that teenage angst is a legitimate feeling.  I’ll allow that.  Just don’t put me on blast.

What do you think?  Any suggestions about how to handle Facebook/Twitter or other social media with teenagers?

MLK Day – 2012

In the Unwritten household on MLK’s birthday, Dad made us girls listen to the “I Have A Dream” speech.   Back then I didn’t understand the enormous impact that speech had on our nation in 1963.  I simply thought it was a nice sermon.  A very long sermon.

Now when I reflect on the legacy of Martin Luther King, one thing stands out.  One person can make a difference.  This man bore the burden of leading a movement that changed the world.  Today I rededicate myself to trying to live up to this ideal:  “To judge someone not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character”.

What are your plans for the MLK holiday?

Report: Kobe Bryant to pay $75 million in divorce – CBSSports.com

Wow!  Someone is about to get paid.  I still say Juanita Jordan (Michael) wrote the book on how to get your money as a wife of an unfaithful athlete.  Vanessa learned well.

Report: Kobe Bryant to pay $75 million in divorce – CBSSports.com.