Monthly Archives: October 2011
This weekend I went to a friend’s housewarming. JL and I met at work about 14 years ago. We bonded as two recently married women and a year later we were pregnant with our first child. We shared lunches, play dates, mothering advice and shopping trips to Parisian. We have seen each other through various events to include death, additional children (one for me, three more for her) and the stresses of married life. I’ve grown to love her like a sister.
And then JL’s marriage starting going bad. I was there to listen and help her decide her future plans. When it went from bad to worst, she decided to leave. That was a hard decision especially since the only thing she took with her were her kids. The past few months have been difficult as she has had to rebuild her life while fighting her husband for custody.
I am happy that JL is doing well. She has a job and recently bought a house that is big enough for her and the kids. She is starting over but she is happy. During the housewarming, everyone had to get up and say something to JL. I didn’t know what I wanted to say then so I kept it short and generic. Here is what I should have said:
“I am so proud of you. I know it hasn’t been easy but I admire your courage to make changes in your life so that you can be truly happy. You have prayed and worked hard to make this day possible. It may have seemed as if you were alone but looking around this room, at all the people who love and support you, you can see that you were never alone. You know that if you ever need me, all you have to do is call. I love you.”
I think she needs to hear it. Especially the part about being brave. I’ll give her a call today.
What do you think? When life happens, are you strong enough to make difficult changes and choose happiness?
I know I am late with this but the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy got me thinking about friendship. What defines a friendship? Is it making a connection with someone who “gets” you? Is it a shared situation or a convenient presence?
If you are familiar with the show you know that two of the main characters, Meredith Grey and Christina Yang are friends. Let me take that back. They are more than friends. They are “the one” for each other. As in, the one person that gets them. The person that accepts you for who you are. Flaws and all. I like to call it your “Ride or Die”.
Everyone should have a “ride or die” person in their life. Take an inventory of the people in your inner circle. I bet you can pick out the one you know will hold you down no matter what. It may not be your significant other either. I would suspect that for most people it isn’t their significant other.
Take the Grey’s episode as an example. Each character was having an issue with their spouse which could be stripped down to their men not totally “getting” them. Something bad happened and the dudes couldn’t deal. It was as if they suddenly forgot the person they married. The ladies turned to each other. Meredith confronted Owen on Christina’s behalf. Christina helped Meredith when she panicked and disappeared with Zola. No judgement, no conditions. That’s the type of friend you want in your corner.
Are you that friend in return? My sister and I discussed this and she made a profound statement. “Most people think they are “Ride or Die”, she said. “But they really aren’t. And they may never have a reason to prove it.”
I agree. You may never have an opportunity to step up and show how the person you love that you have their back no matter what. But you just might. What will that situation reveal about you? Are you a “Ride or Die” friend?
I like to think that I am one.
What I’m listening to on the iPod right now: “In Your Eyes” – Peter Gabriel
What I’m reading now: “Mogul” – Terrance Dean
I’m starting to believe that there will not be an NBA season at all. And that makes me sad.
These are ever changing times.
I was reading the November 2011 issue of “The Writer” magazine and discovered this software that will eliminate the need for notebooks, post-its and index cards. The name of the software is Evernote and the best thing about it is that it’s FREE.
Evernote is a program that lets you keep all of your research on one site and it automatically syncs across all of your computers and devices. So, you can create a note on your laptop, refer to it on you smartphone or blackberry and then pull it up again on another computer. Never be without your notes again when inspiration hits.
I downloaded it yesterday and I have already added all my notes and web pages for my current novel. The only glitch is that I can’t get it to clip webpages. However, the website has a tutorial video and other ways to help introduce you to the product.
To all my writer friends, give it a try. Evermore, so you can remember everything!