Why Are You Single?

Although I’ve been married for seventeen years, I am aware of the single lady situation.  It seems to be an epidemic that must be explored and explained.  The statistics are staggering.  70% of Black women are single.  Not counting the number of those women that choose to be single, it seems as if there are a lot of eligible women out there looking for a man.  Specifically, a Black man.

An article I read in the Wall Street Journal echos the advice I have given my sister and other single friends.  Open yourself up to men of all races.

From the article:

Nearly 70% of black women are unmarried, and the racial gap in marriage spans the socioeconomic spectrum, from the urban poor to well-off suburban professionals. Three in 10 college-educated black women haven’t married by age 40; their white peers are less than half as likely to have remained unwed.

Black women confront the worst relationship market of any group because of economic and cultural forces that are not of
their own making; and they have needlessly worsened their situation by limiting themselves to black men.

While I don’t agree 100% with everything in this article, I think the take away should be to not limit your options.  Women can be and are single for several reason.  I don’t think anyone can presume to have the answer to why this woman is married and this one is not.  There is no secret to getting and keeping a man regardless of the many books on the subject.  (Side eye to Steve Harvey and Hill Harper)  Men just aren’t that complicated.  If  you have yourself together physically, emotionally and spiritually then  you will attract the same in a mate.  He just may not be in the package you expect.

But that’s just my opinion.  What say you?

What I’m reading:  “Hunting in Harlem” – Mat Johnson

What I’m listening to: “Victory” – Yolanda Adams

Posted on August 15, 2011, in Writing Life. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Chelle I was married for 7 years and things didn’t work out. My ex-husband is Mexican. It wasn’t our backgrounds that broke us up but the normal marital issue. Being single again has not been a picnic for me. I’m willing but there are a lot of hurting men out there trying to protect themselve from hurt by just giving a small portion of themselves. I seem to meet the guys that get hurt and afraid to trust again. Now for a time I did have to rebuild by own self worth and remember I’m more than just a pretty face. I am tired though of meeting men that are, “Just Not That Into Me”. They also give words but no action plus they want things handed to them and not willing to work for it. They want the woman to give in but when she does they walk away. Do men know what they want? I love men and if I get along well and have things in common I am willing to go the distance. I have in the pass have not click with men within my race as well as without. This is America we can be of the same race and still seem like we are from different cultures. I believe it’s about being open and willing to accept each other for what we have to offer. I love marriage over being single any day


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